drink plenty of water they say. sleep a lot they say.

these are the secrets to a long healthy life, a slender figure, great skin, perfect BMI and some other model-adjacent imperatives.


my tirade today revolves around the effect of combining these miraculous secrets.

spoiler: it´s none of the model-adjacent crap.

because obviously when you drink water there is a 100% chance of having to visit a certain room with porcelain bowls of different sizes used for a multitude of purposes. which leads me to the sleeping a lot part.

the necessity to employ one particular porcelain bowl kind of rather interferes with the sleeping doesn’t it. i mean, i drank a lot of water yesterday and then i went to sleep rather late because i had very important knitting tasks to complete which is just a random fun fact from my relentlessly adventurous life. and then it was 3am or 3:40 or something and i woke up to this urgent feeling.

my first reaction was surprise. then, slowly realizing what was happening, i felt annoyed. betrayed, really. i mean: how am i supposed to drink and sleep a lot when the drinking is ruining my sleeping. this realization shook me so thoroughly that i wasn’t able to return to the land of slumber for another hour. during which i had some more gulps of water because it´s winter here in germany and the air is super dry and i´d forgotten to refill the water containers that hang on the radiators and help humidify the air.

i woke up again at 7am – on a sunday.

i´m giving up water. it´s overrated.