I have a possibly irrational although in my opinion very founded and rational anger directed  at anyone who watches dubbed content on TV, at the cinema, you name it.

This is so mind-boggling to me, I am almost losing my ability to even rant about it.  What´s wrong with subtitles? Why the need to look at someone move their lips in any language of the planet while German words pour out of them? How can this abnormality be preferable to the wonderful, soothing, original sounds?

Every time my friends here in Germany ask me to go to the movies I have to remind myself to ask whether they are watching the original version. And I don´t care if the original is Farsi, Chinese, Russian or English or a long lost aboriginal tribe’s language from New Zealand. I feel that language is such an integral part of any film, that by replacing it with a generic, studio made excuse of a translation you basically strip away its soul. It´s like a laughing track. Only ten times worse. A hundred times worse. If it´s not yet clear that I thoroughly and seriously despise this, I hope that this last paragraph speaks to that. Volumes!

This habit is so ingrained in German culture, that it is impossible to break. People find all sorts of excuses like “I can´t read the subtitles and watch the movie at the same time”.

Oh.

But you can drive and read the road signs at the same time.

You can cross the street and scroll through facebook at the same time. And not get hit by cars. Although you might deserve it you dubbing supporter you!

You can read a newspaper while music plays in the background at the same time.

You can breathe and walk and talk and think and hear and see AT THE SAME TIME.

You are proud of your fucking multitasking superpowers in every other minute aspect of your existence but suddenly with subtitles you lose it all.

Subtitles!

I can´t even.