how does this work please?
when i was younger i did a lot of running. for a while i thought i might become a professional runner. this was before i got acquainted with myself and realised how inherently disinterested i am, in physical activity in particular, and competition in general.
but i did a LOT of running. long distance, short distance, medium distance, fast and slow, and all the other words i can’t think of anymore now that it’s past 8pm and my brain is on standby because.
and while doing all that running i did a lot of thinking. it was the only time that i was alone with my thoughts. also, it’s hard to hold a conversation when you’re doing a 6km warm up run on an icy winter morning. so although we always ran in a group, after about 1km we all fell silent and focused on oxygenating those muscles.
so i don’t understand how people insist that they go for a jog and it magically clears their head. that it frees the mind. all it ever did for me was force me to think about stuff: all the homework piling up, all the exams i had to pass, all the boy trouble, basically everything i was actively ignoring came pouring over me while running. i was trapped in a body close to exhaustion and a mind riddled by teenage angst. the very few times i jogged as an adult, i constantly thought about work and it left me out of breath, red in the face and generally disgruntled. am i lacking a gene or something? am i a mutant? where is my fucking endorphins kick?
that’s why i prefer watching tv. the only time my brain shuts up is when it consumes moving pictures. there is nothing like a little escapism to free the mind.